A Hard Day's Work

Yesterday was fun. It was filled with weeding the flowerbeds, washing cars, federalizing/weed killing the yard, grocery shopping, swimming and going to Wal-Mart. The swift contrasts between days like Miami and yesterday are not lost with me. David had a bit of a hard time washing the cars with the kids but the effort was there.

It’s funny how quickly I forgot how much time goes in to having a house with the yard work and cleaning of something other than a small box of an apartment. Teaching the kids a good work ethic plus the pride of day well done is priceless. Andrew keeps looking at the vegetable seeds to see if they have sprouted yet. It is well worth the effort.

David’s’ birthday is coming up two weeks from yesterday. We are getting him…oh, since he reads this every day and approves content it would ruin the surprise. You’ll just have to wait.


Blessings :)

University of Miami

Thank you all for your prayers. Miami was not what we expected it to be. We left at seven AM. Three and a half hours latter we were looking for the building in the gigantic University complex. We were three hours early so we ate lunch and I had some coveted Cuban Coffee, boy do I love that stuff.

The Doctor said David has a complicated case. Alzheimer’s is not ruled out however David is also showing some signs of Depression and has Metabolic Syndrome.

So what came first the chicken or the egg?  Is the Depression due to the Alzheimer’s diagnosis? Is it contributing to the memory loss? Does the excessive weight play into the energy loss even though he had the weight before the memory problems began? The Doctor said these are all good questions he doesn’t have an answer for.

The one thing he was sure about is that if David doesn’t get his increased blood pressure, elevated insulin levels, excess body fat and abnormal cholesterol levels under control he is going to have a catastrophic event happen sooner rather than later. He recommended we see another specialist if his course of action doesn’t help with the memory loss. So just incase we are saving to go to John Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland.

On the bright side Dr Henry had a wonderful bedside manner and was kind when I started to cry. He explained things really well and spent an hour and fifteen minutes with us. I guess it was worth the $500.00 appointment fee.

When we left the parking lot attendant gave us directions to get back to the turnpike that took us an hour out of our way. As we passed the airport the thought of checking the car as baggage and flying home was not far from our minds.

We were in Fort Lauderdale when Discovery launched. I was hoping to see the con trail being told before that the shuttle could be seen on clear days as far south as Miami and as far north as Atlanta. It must just be at night. Maybe you space folks can tell me if that is true. What I wouldn’t give to be at a dinner party where someone who knows about the program could chat with me for hours. I watch NASA TV more than I’d like to admit.

As we listened to NPR live in Orlando on my I Phone I could feel the hope come back into me. Since Challenger I always feel a pit in my stomach when I hear “throttle up” but after that point I feel the hope of what is possible and that if we reach for the stars literally we can succeed. 

Today Is The Trip To Miami

We are about to leave for The University of Miami. Our appointment is at 1 PM today. Please pray for wisdom for David’s medical staff. Thank you all.

Blessings!

Blueberry Bushes

David, Mac and I planted the blueberry bushes last night. Before I got home from work the holes were dug and since we don’t have a wheelbarrow David used two bins that we had left over from moving. We needed the dolly to move them down to the fence that separates our property from the ravine.

We place the plants put the Black Cow in and around the holes and start watering. Mac loves the hose jumping up and down snapping at the water. So then we had a wet dog sinking in cow manure.  

After catching my dear Jack Russell I asked David to run in and grab the liquid dial and a beach towel. He came back with my Redken Frizz Control shampoo and bath sheet. Mac was shivering at this point. I just wanted to get him clean.

In the end we had two planted blueberry bushes, an extremely soft, frizz free and a once again white dog. Such is life.

Bright Spots

We have been having towel issues since my Mom moved in. The kids keep using hers. So on Sunday David and I spoke and agreed that I should go to the store and buy them monogramed towels so everyone would know who is who’s.

So I left and a half hour later David called my cell asking where I was that I just left without telling him. Then when I came home he asked where I was and what was in the bag if I had gone to the grocery store. I asked him to think and he drew a blank. All of this happened in an hour’s time. Little things like that every day are sad moments.

Well are still working on the landscaping. David and Andrew went to Home Depot and bought vegetable seeds and starter cups on Sunday. Plus we were gifted two raspberry and two different varieties of blueberry bushes yesterday. It looks like we will eat next winter after all. One row of gladiolas is in the front and I will plant a row every two weeks for the next two months so we have flowers all summer.

It is satisfying to plant and know we will be blessed with the fruit of our labor. David is really enjoying the process. I love seeing the joy in his eyes after a good days work. He is much more relaxed these days. I find joy in the bright spots looking towards the Son and thanking Him for another day with my family. 

C’est la vie!

This weekend has been tranquil. David and I got in the pool Friday night. Boy was it cold however my dream of being the first in was realized. I haven’t felt a shock like that since Sliding Rock in North Carolina.

Saturday morning Kimmie, Mom and I went shopping for impatience. David is really getting into gardening. It gives him something to fill his time. Andrew’s birthday gift was a vegetable garden with seeds of his choice. The yard is picking up shape indeed.

Then we were off to Wekiwa Springs State Park to canoe. We had a blast! At first it was hairy but rhythm was found quickly with the teams. Within 10 minutes Seth and Andrew ran Megan and John, Megan’s boyfriend, into the weeds. Game on. The splash fights, racing, crashes, wildlife plus family time was well worth it. After the kids cooled off swimming in the hot spring. What a blessing to have such a resource so close to home.

David’s memory is slowly fading. When we went to the gym the other day they asked him to write our address. He didn’t remember and started writing the address of our home that burnt down almost a year ago until I spoke the current one. It hurt my heart.

By the way Seth has learned a new skill. Spinning a book on his finger while walking. What a chick magnet he is becoming. It is impressive in a bizarre kind of way. He believes it will help him get an after school job as a waiter. We do encourage the children to have goals but this isn’t quite what we had in mind. C’est la vie.

Our Best

Insanity is doing the same think over and over and expecting a different result. 

So I did it again but this time not as much. Yep I filled the pool with water. I can hear those of you who are following the blog saying “DON’T DO IT!” (You can go back and read Water Levels in January).

I know, I know but the pool was evaporated to the point the blowers (what are they called?) were bubbling the water and air was starting to get in the pump. I did learn last time so I didn’t fill it to the top. I think I put in enough since it is not gargling anymore.

It’s like life. I get filled to the brim with love and joy until some evaporates due to…fill in the blank and I need to recharge. Other times feel thwarted due to the injustice of it all. I was born a very spirited personality. That is my biggest asset and defect all rolled up into one me.

My demand for social justice in addition to constantly seeking answers is helping with the medical situation we now find ourselves in. We ask questions searching for anything that might help David. 

Some of the things keeping me afloat are God, you guys telling me to put the oxygen mask on myself first so I can be their for the family, church, having fun with friends, plus my faith that God has our back at all times.

A few days ago I went back to the gym. Since the move and diagnosis I haven’t gone and it has taken an emotional toll. Yesterday David and I did a spin class. It is helping me to clear my head. I’m sleeping like a rock, needed something to burn the excess energy plus I want to look good at the pool this summer.

Some days I do brilliantly others I fall on my face. The main thing for me is that I get up every morning and “do” so in those 10 seconds before I fall asleep I can say to God I did my best today no matter what the outcome was.

Please join us in our prayer for all of the caregivers we have met and have yet to be blessed in knowing that they may hold strong on those days they feel emotionally empty that God may fill them with strength to finish the day.

Crackerjacks

David and I are finding out a lot about me when I was younger due to the countless hours sitting on the back porch with my Mom whom I call Mommy.

Last week we were talking about when I was a kid and our shore house in Ocean City, NJ. The roach coach would come to each block several times a day ringing a bell to let everyone on the beach know they were there. I rarely wavered between a star pop (you know the red, white and blue popsicles) and Crackerjacks. Something about the caramel corn, saltwater and sand made them the perfect beach snack.

On Valentines Day since we had gone out Friday night David took Megan, our daughter, to dinner. When he came home he gave me a soft bear that says I love you and a bag of Crackerjack to take with us to the beach next weekend. He remembered!

I don’t know what excited me more. The fact that he went to two stores looking for the treat, the romance factor or the fact that conversation didn’t slip through his memory. It was remarkable.

Join us in our prayer for those little moments to continue as long as possible. For the children that they may find peace resting in Gods arms in the new normal. Also that my patience may hold since at times the new normal is extremely taxing. 

Life Is Good

What a fun day. Kimmie and I played rock band. I won’t quit my day job. Kimmie on the other hand played guitar to the point it put Pete Townshend to shame. We laughed and caught up on ordinary things. How refreshing.

I bought groceries, fixed some things around the house (with the help of George), baked cookies and played Rummikub with David and the kids. I praise God for the quiet, normalcy of it all.

Seth, a sophomore is being courted by colleges due to his amazing grades and Ash, our senior has some schools looking at him for his awesome cross country and track skills. We are proud of all of the kids.

Please join us in prayer that the children stay well adjusting to the new normal. We are also praying for discernment and wisdom for the Doctors who are going to give us a second opinion on the 24^th.

Tomorrow is church. I can hardly wait to stand in a room of people and worship together. Life is good. 

Valentines Day

Tonight we celebrated Valentines by going out to Bubba Gump’s at Universal City Walk. It was amazing. I love their shrimp in a bucket with a Cesar salad.

Like Andrew I could eat shrimp at every meal. The Kids were at a basketball game, which gave us the opportunity to go out and have fun early.

For a few moments I forgot about the craziness of our lives and could just enjoy my husband. He sounds lucid in the moment but bring up something that happened a month ago and forget it.

David also gave me a mannie/peddie so my mom and I went after I was finished work. People keep telling me to take care of myself. Put the oxygen mask on myself first so I can help others. Today I did just that.

Hopes and Wishes

The last few days have been a bit difficult. The further away we get from the doctors appointments the more confused David is about what the Doctors said. It is helpful that Donna was with us as the reality check chick. We were told the tests came back inconclusive with conflicting results. The Doctors have no idea of what that means at this point and neither do we until we have the second opinion. Speculation of the results at this point is just that, speculation. We hope he has some answers for us and doesn’t send us somewhere else. It is so frustrating!

It’s hard to see my husband not remember things and watch memories fade away over a few days time. I pray for a quick fix that will make everything okay. No matter what our wishes reality is going to win out in the end. I’d like to think this is a head cold that can be cured with an aspirin. A girl can dream can’t she?

We started to plan our summer vacation today. We are thinking of the beach for a week. I don’t know how good of an idea it is to go for a week out of a safe and familiar environment. Any experiential insight is welcomed.

Sun, sand, surf, fishing, boogie and skim boards…aaahhh…that’s what I’m talking about. Isn’t that life though? Seeing the peaks from the valleys to inspire us to keep going.

I feel God at the beach. The vastness of it all inspires me with the explosion of energy ramming the shore as mist emerges to kiss the skin.

Since we are the only state in the nation to not have snow this year I’ll have to dream of making sandcastles instead of snowmen. Take a ride on the radio flyer for me please. 

Axona

David was taken off of the Axona. The Doctors said it wouldn’t help with what findings they have so far. I didn’t think it was working anyway. We have an appointment set up in late February at the University of Miami Hospital for a second opinion. 

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation”

---Herbert Spencer

Companionship

I’m in love with God. The condition with David doesn’t change that. God isn’t mean. I think He is loving and kind. I haven’t heard of Him turning anyone into salt lately or setting a bush on fire but that doesn’t make him any less real.

The conversation I had with a friend a few weeks ago about the Garden of Eden has stuck in my head. Did Adam and Eve stub their toe and if so did it hurt? The Bible says they were with God but could they see Him like we see each other? Were their bumblebees and if so did they sting? (That one is driving me nuts.)

I can’t imagine life without God. Over all I feel His love towards us as a family and people in general. I believe he wants to be in constant companionship with us. Like any good father he sets boundaries and holds us tight when we get hurt. God is a gentleman and doesn’t force himself on us. It is our choice to commune with Him on a daily basis.

I’m rereading The Shack with two friends of mine. I love reading a book with others and discussing it looking for meaning and how it relates to my life. I know it’s fiction but I think the idea of God being with me in tangible ways and giving me insight is real.

We needed some florescent lights fixed and small things done around the house and an angle of a friend gifted us new light and time to put them in.

We also need shower bars put in my Mom’s bath so she can stop using the towel bar to get in and out of the shower and another angel has volunteered his time and tile cutter.

As a family we have been known to volunteer our time and resources to friends and family in need. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do?

Some one said to me yesterday they want to come and help us. The best way to do that right now is to help us have fun and connect with us. That was one of the gifts Donna gave us this past week strengthen the bond of friendship. We did a lot with Doctors appointments and such but the lighthearted fellowship helped a great deal. Laughter is good medicine.

A person helping by doing thing around the house for us is a gift we are grateful for and the fellowship after talking over snacks is priceless.

We want to thank all of you who have connected, prayed, given us words of encouragement and laughed with us.

Please pray for the children that they may find peace in our Fathers arms, that the Doctor’s are given divine insight and can help David, and keep your love coming. It means the world to us.

Patience

On Friday we went to another one of David’s Doctors. She wants us to see a specialist that deals in complex cases for a second opinion on the conflicting results. We find out this week if that means Shands or if we are going on a trek to Miami.

Friday was a wonderful last day with Donna. Shop, Shop, Shop. Our kids had a ball with her.

Someone had mentioned that David take walks around the neighborhood or our yard. So I thought it would help to spray paint a squiggly line in an oval in the side yard. We need to mow.

It was sad to take Donna to the airport. It was 76 degrees when I dropped her off and she landed to 34 degrees. Air travel fascinates me.

Sunday was filled with church, emptying bins and cleaning the garage.  I forgot there was a floor in there. It’s a good thing I was good at Tetris in my early years. Who said video games don’t help in real life? Speaking of video games Donna got us all addicted to Pocket Frogs.

Oh last night. The way it works in our house is the kids and David root for the team playing against the Steelers just to get a rise out of me. Next year we will win it all.

Please pray for wisdom of David’s medical team.

Results

Thank you for all of your prayers. Kimmie’s test results came back all negative.

With David the tests came back inconclusive with conflicting results. The one thing the Doctor said that was good news is that she thinks medication and treatments may help. That is really good news.

Praise God!!!

Donna and I had a lot of fun shopping until we dropped. The funny thing is neither of us bought a thing. Today is another day.

Please keep praying for our family and Betty Ann’s brother. God is hearing you. You are all in ours.


Blessings!

She's Here! She's Here!

She’s here! She’s here! My Sister-in-love is here! She went from 27 degrees to 78 in 3 hours. Ah the wonders of air travel.

Today we are going shopping. To an amazing specialty shop know as The Barn Antiques in Lake Alfred, FL, then to Downtown Disney and if we can squeeze it in we might even get a mannie/peddie. Girl’s rock.

Last night we attempted to Skype with her hubbie. It was so much fun. He could hear and see us and we could see him but we couldn’t hear him. We had so much fun trying to figure it out. Laughter is cleansing for the soul.

This has all helped me to slightly forget the Neurologist appointment this afternoon at four. We are all going to get the final word and phase that David is in. The tests are all back.

David has been doing much better (at least his attitude has been for the most part lighter) since he stopped working. I think it is the lack of stress of remembering all day.

Please pray that Donna and I have a fun time in fellowship, that David does well in Brain Fitness Club, and that we all ask good questions and get all the information we need at the Dr’s appointment.

PS My girlfriend Betty Ann’s Brother, for whom she is a caretaker, was hospitalized last night. Please pray for wisdom and guidance as the Doctors do tests that he maybe healed.

Plus please keep praying for Kimmie. 


Blessings!

Why We Blog

The blog has come with mixed reviews. We appreciate all the feedback we have gotten form family and friends new and old. Please keep the comments coming. Even if it takes me a few days I answer every one and some you see are posted.

Here is one response to the blog that I addressed personally and want to share with you:

"What you and Dave and we will be dealing with will be very difficult and very, very personal. Unlike this next generation I do not believe private matters should ever be open to public viewing.” – Name withheld 

Our response:

“The blog is for our family, friends (we have a lot of them) and those who have a heart for Alzheimer's patients and care givers. We agree that the information age has it's downfalls but we also know there is a wealth of information out there that we want access to. We share our story (joy, pain, laughter and tears) not to embarrass anyone but so they may see Christ through our journey and find hope in His arms. We understand that you and your wife would do it differently and your names won't be mentioned and you don't have to pass on the site address.

This is a journey of both life and death. We will rejoice and mourn in both. One of the saying in our home is treat all with integrity, love and respect. We wish our journey to have dignity.  We have nothing to hide. We hope friends who are non-believers in God or are wavering in their faith come to Christ knowing that if we can follow him through all of this than so can they.

From our point of view there is a lot of peace that we have found on Alzheimer's blogs. Knowing we are not alone is comforting. The other people's story's help us to prepare and see that what we are going through is normal for our new normal.“

-"A burden shared is a burden lightened" - Unknown 

Bad Dreams

Wow, finally the migraine is gone. This one lasted over 57 hours. Now I just feel like I was run over by a choo-choo. I haven’t had one this bad since the first weekend of December.

I had horrible dreams last night. The worst was that David died while on an outing with the children and Seth who was in shock was trying to explain to me over the phone while my cell kept cutting in and out. I couldn’t find them to send help. 

I woke up gasping for air and crying to find David beside me. I put my head on his pillow and snuggled in tight. Praising God it was only a bad dream and thanking Him I won’t have to experience those feeling for real for a long time to come. Listening to the rhythm of his breath I fell back to sleep.

Now it’s five am and I feel hung over from all the sleep and Tresimax I’ve had the past two and a half days. I think I’ll hit the gym today. I haven’t gone in a month and miss it.

The one thing I’ve heard over and over is that being the caretaker I have to take care of myself first. Like being on a plane and putting the O2 mask on so I can help the others around me without passing out. I am a natural helper so I really need to take that to heart.

I have some R&R coming though. Tomorrow we are picking up my Sister-in-love, Donna, from the airport. I am so excited she is coming to visit. Kenny and Donna have been amazingly supportive. I cannot think of anyone better to be on our team David.

I feel a mannie/peddie coming our way.

I’m reading The 36-Hour Day (you can find it on the right hand side of the blog) on my Nook. Boy is it right on. In a way it makes me sad but in a way it is refreshing the way it explains to a tee what we are going through. The mood swings and confusion are explained eloquently. I recommend it to family and friends who want to know more about what is in store for us. 


Blessings!