Staying Out Of The Way

The last few days have been fun although tiring.  Tuesday morning after picking up David’s car I got a migraine.  So I was an hour late for work due to the need to sleep off the medication for two hours.

Tuesday night David, Ash and I went out for sushi and to CarMax to check out a Town and Country minivan we had seen online. It was nice and the trade-in in value of David’s car was more than we expected but we walked away not wanting a car payment since all of the cars we have are paid in full. 

It has been wonderful having Ash here.  He has a fun slightly warped sense of humor like I do so our banter is entertaining to say the least.

Work is awesome!  I put out a casting call and ad for a shooter this week and am now working on updating our video catalog.  This job is so much fun!  The people are amazing as well and it is a joy to go in every morning.  I am truly blessed!

David…well…he is not doing as told by the Doctors as much as I would like.  My solution this week, instead of getting upset and having a spirit of resentment, is to go to the gym, eat well, and dive into my bible reading and prayer time which allows me to be calmer and more accepting. 

There was a big blow up a few Saturdays ago about David and the kids doing chores.  It brought me to my breaking point.  I need help around the house. 

Mom has been doing much more than she should, Ash has been a great help since he arrived, plus Andrew does things as well and it helps take the pressure off of me. For that I am truly grateful.  Owning a house is a lot of work.  It would help if we acted like a team more often and everyone chipped in. 

The reality is God is in command and I just need to step out of the way.  The only person whom I can control or change is myself. 

Please pray for my sister-in-love who had surgery on her hand last week.  She is doing well but in a bit of pain.  For David that he might be inspired to do all the Doctors suggest and that I may stay calm and out of the way of the process.

Blessings!

It's All Good

Ash flew in last Tuesday night.  I am so excited to have him here! Every time I see him after an extended absence I cry.  This time was no exception.  My heart soars having my child so close!

As we stood at the baggage carousel he pointed at different pieces of luggage.  “Mine is dusty like that one, small like that one, fat like that one…wow someone really has a shiny silver bag like the Jetsons?”  We were having a good time.

I didn’t know Mac could play fetch in the pool until Wednesday.  Swimming and grabbing the ball at the same time…this dogs talents are endless. J

Over the weekend Ash was an angel at P3.  We went through as students years ago and it has made an impact on him as well as our family.  It is an amazing way to work through emotional pain and get back on track allowing me to be more present for my family and a loving servant towards them and God. 

Today we get David’s car out of the shop.  He drove it two weeks ago without water and it warped the head.  I was striking it up to his memory loss until I found out it is a male family trait.  His father and brother have done the same thing.  $2,600 later I guess I’ll be in charge of the cars from now on.  That is an expensive lesson to learn and one we really can’t afford.

I have been going to the gym and eating better for the last week.  I decided that I need to take better care of myself and that eating feelings is not making them better.  I also need to be an example for David.

He went to a Nuropsycologist yesterday.  He reiterated to David that he needs to make a list for daily activites, use a day planer, and take care of himself. 

When we were to the Neurologist a few weeks ago she stated she wants him to eat better, loose the weight, and go to a new Brain Fitness club.  For some reason unknown to me he is resisting the changes recommended by the specialist we have seen.  It hurts my heart. 

If his memory loss doesn’t slow the Neurologist is going to put him on an Alzheimer’s medication in August.  Which is frustrating since he isn’t implementing what all of the Dr.’s have told him so we truly don’t know how far down the scale he has gone.  It’s like he has given up.

All in all I can’t complain.  I feel blessed that our problems are slight and that I have a family to worry about.  God is amazing and in my daily Bible reading and prayer he shows me His peace and love.  Who could ask for more?

Blessings!

Here We Go Again

Thank you all for your patience while I took a break. The neurologist appointment was a bit rough. She would like David to go back to Brain Fitness Club to help give him coping skills with his memory loss issues. Implementing the use of note books and a dry erase board at home with his list of things to do like showering, brushing his teeth taking out the trash...will help both of our frustration levels and take some of the pressure off of me. Exercising and eating right is presumed to help as well.

The deal is, if after two months if these things don’t stop/slowdown/help the descending spiral then the neurologist is going to put him on an Alzheimer’s medication. So we are back to that.

Please pray for us.

Brain Fitness Club

(This post was originally posted 2/25/2011. It moved on it's own this morning, while I was looking at it in the edit section, to here. I'll figure this blog thing out sooner or later.) :)


Our neurologist told us about Brain Fitness Club held in Winter Park. David goes for 4 hours twice a week. He does math, puzzles, wears a pedometer, Thi Chi, foosball; anything that can help work his brain in a stimulating setting without pressure or judgment. It’s partnered with The University of Central Florida so they’re on a semester basis.

He receives homework to keep active.  With the move he hasn’t had a chance to get board. We talked about things he can do around the house and make a list but he forgets to check. That puts more on my plate but I chalk it up to being part of the new normal.

He gets mad if I start to do things that were placed on his list two days ago explaining we never talked about doing ______ and I need to rest more. I point him back to the list and he gets frustrated for forgetting but the new carpet needs to be vacuumed once a week and the bathrooms don’t clean themselves.

The “person” I feel the worst for is Mac. I come home and he hasn’t been left out all day. That’s a lot to ask when being played with and only being 17 lbs. It goes like this.

“He’s not God he doesn’t need to go out more than twice a day!”

“Of course he not God. If he were he would take himself out!”

Poor Mac. We think we are going to get him a friend this summer. His cat died two years ago. Another Jack Russell puppy would be fun, although I dread the potty training stage. 


Blessings!

LOL

So I have some pool stories for you. Mac loves to swim but he likes to do it under his own terms…usually…

David was swimming a while ago as Mac scampered and barked up a storm at the edge of the pool. It was filled to the brim. Consequently, as David went back and forth water sloshed out.

Well, a big wave came onto the deck and washed Mac into the pool. Boy, was he shocked! We patted the stairs and he finally found his way to safety.

Last weekend due to evaporation and the lack of rain I needed to fill the pool. As you might remember Mac loves flowing water. He jumps and bites at the watercourse every single time without fail. It is a sight to be seen.

To keep him as calm as possible I bent the hose after turning it on while dragging it along. As I let it go Mac jumped off the deck like Superman going after a bad guy and right into the deep end! 

It took him a second to pop up and he doggie paddled to no avail. I do give him credit for making it to the side where I pulled him out by the scruff of his neck and tail. He was most grateful.

Needles to say we don’t let him on the lanai without supervision. This place is never boring and the comic relief of a Jack Russell is always well received.

Blessings!

Back To The Neurologist

David felt concern about the Mother’s Day conversation last week. So we have an appointment with the Neurologist on Monday at 7:30 AM. I am hopeful they might be able to help.

Thank you all for your prayers. :) 

Jehovah-Shammah! Jehovah-Jireh!

Okay so this morning was filled with whine so here is some food for thought (cheese). God is amazing. I am grateful for my husband and the gift of being his helpmate. He is the best husband in the world and the one God wants me to have. I love my mom. She is the best mom ever.

So I get frustrated with God sometimes for letting this all fall apart. What kid doesn’t get mad at their parent? I know, I know, we live in a fallen world. At least I am in the same house with David and Mom and can keep a close eye on their needs and wants. At least God lets me throw my temper tantrum and still tucks me in at night. He is an awesome God. My Father. My…

Jehovah-Rohi...Psalm 23:1 "The Lord my shepherd"

Jehovah-Shammah...Ezekiel 48:35 "The Lord who is present"

Jehovah-Rapha...Exodus 15:26 "The Lord our healer"

Jehovah-Tsidkenu...Jeremiah 23:6 "The Lord our righteousness"

Jehovah-Jireh...Genesis 22:13-14 "The Lord will provide"

Jehovah-Shalom...Judges 6:24  "The Lord is peace"

El-Roi...Genesis 16:13  "The strong one who sees"

El-Olam...Isaiah 40:28-31 "The everlasting God"

Christ is my Foundation, Chief Shepard, Comforter, my Protector and Savior.

The Holy Spirit fills me with peace and knowing I’m never alone.

Without the Trinity I don’t know how I would exist. I am grateful. Please pray for all of us and forgive my mini meltdown. Thanks for listening and all of your kind words and prayers. J

I Feel...

Bless his heart, David’s memory is failing more and more each day. He is forgetting the simple things like to take a shower or bring in the trashcans and when reminded he gets angry. He is also forgetting if we agreed to pay a bill. I feel worried.

He cannot recall much at this point and I feel he is getting as bad as he was when he was taken out of work. If he doesn’t empty the dishwasher or take out the dog when reminded right away it doesn’t happen. The dishes aren’t a big deal but poor Mac…I feel concerned.

He is starting to “rest” (sleep) more again and not exercising as much. I feel perplexed. He told me he is going to call the Dr. and see what if anything can be done. For that I feel hopeful.

It breaks my heart to see my husband decline. I wish I had a magic wand to make everything better but I don’t.

Please pray for us. 

Memorial Day

What a beautiful day to reflect on the saying "Home of the free because of the brave." I awoke feeling a great sense of gratitude for all of the men and women who have died for our country and prayed for their families.

With my own son wanting to serve it moved my heart knowing that in months he might be in harms way. I am proud of Ash wanting to serve, as I’m sure all parents are but lately I have found myself praying in advance for his safety.

After planting some red, white and blue flowers on the front porch David and I placed an orange tree in the back yard near the garden promoting life in remembrance of those who have supplied freedom and peace on our soil.

The third time is the charm they always say so we replaced the dead blackberry and raspberry twigs with bushes that are 18” tall hoping they make it.

Over the weekend Andrew picked the first blueberries, tomatoes and peppers. Yummy. We are going to have more cucumbers than we can shake a stick at so if you have a good pickle recipe please send it to me. I have never made them before. J

After swimming with David and walking the treadmill I contracted a killer migraine so back to bed I went. I am praying today I make it going back to work for the first time in a week. When I’m out I fell quite guilty and miss being there.

Please join us in prayer for all those who serve in AmeriCorps, Coast Guard, the Armed Services and their families. They give us the opportunity to have fun and enjoy peace. We hope you had an amazing holiday with family and friends!

Rest

I’m still not feeling well. Thursday night when I came home I slept 10 hours only to get up for a Dr’s appointment Friday. I went for an oil change and was falling asleep at the station. So I came home and slept the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon venturing out only for groceries anticipating the kid’s arrival for the weekend.

Saturday my mom and I went out for a bit shopping. If you ever get to central Florida go to The Barn. It is a wonderful antique/gift shop in Lake Alfred 20 miles south of Disney. We had a blast. Then I took a nap. This sinus infection is kicking my behinds.

When I woke up I did a DIY. I put hooks on a board I bought and painted numbers and our initials to put above them to hang towels and bathing suits on. It looks pretty cool if I do say so myself.

While out my mom bought David a grill cover and told him it was an early Fathers Day gift. He loves it! He then asked when Mother’s Day is. Remember it was a few weeks ago? He didn’t. Mom and I recounted the day and it took awhile but he finally remembered. His memory is still spotty. It is hard to see the blank look on his face when he lacks recall.

Sunday was filled with church and relaxation. I painted a bookshelf that we have on the back porch for towels and toys for the pool to match the numbers above the hooks and doors. The matching baskets I bought the day before look sharp and are helping bring the lanai together. I love our home.

David and I played in the pool for a few hours and grilled. It was good to have a day alone with my husband where we enjoyed each other’s company being the kids were in Miami for the rest of the weekend.

Please join us in prayer for all of those with memory loss and those who take care of and love them.

A Dream Come True

Wednesday was an amazing day. I’m not sure if it was due to the meds or excitement but I was up at 1:30 AM wired for sound. Today is the day I fly to Phoenix to see Ash graduate was racing through my mind. Needless to say after I reached the airport at 4:30 I slept until my 6:30 flight and all the way to Atlanta.

After I changed planes and was in the air I was flooded with memories. My baby boy who has turned into a young man is graduating! It feels surreal.  When I landed in Phoenix and picked up the rental car the excitement grew. I miss Ash so very much. He guided me in by phone and met me outside his new housing development. As I pulled over to the side of the road to pick him up I could hardly contain myself.

I threw the car in park and just gave him a big hug not wanting to let go. I am in awe of God! How a little baby that I carried almost 19 years ago could be pushing six feet and is now an adult amazes me!

After going to his house and picking up clothes we went out to eat at Red Lobster for a celebratory lunch, Wal-Mart for socks and water (which I desperately needed since AZ is so dry) and finally to the hotel. We talked for hours nonstop. My heart sang as I listened and laughed! Ash hasn’t lived with me for two years. He made interesting choices growing up and it was a rough road but to see him mature and us enjoying each other’s company was incredible.

Before I knew it it was time to get ready for graduation. As I saw him don his cap and gown I couldn’t help feel a sense of pride. The ceremony was wonderful. I cried and smiled as I saw the door of opportunity open wide for Ash to become anything he wants to be.

After going back to the house for cup cakes we returned to the hotel and continued to chat. I didn’t want the night to end knowing I was going home in the morning.

Awakening before Ash I sat and watched him sleep and prayed, as I had throughout his growing up, thanking God for the miracle of my son.

I cried driving to the airport missing Ash already and being filled with gratitude that I was able to be there for my son on his monumental day. God is good!

Please join us in prayer for all of the graduates that their futures may be bright.


Blessing!

Beach Fever

Saturday we went to Cocoa Beach. It was in the 90’s and being brave (or is that stupid?) I didn’t use sunscreen. So Sunday I woke up with a grand fever and killer headache. I thought I had beach fever (also known as sun poisoning). By Tuesday I was coughing so bad I was gagging and getting sick when I coughed so off to the Centra Care I went.

It ended up being a severe sinus infection. Yeah me! I’m now out of work for a week and two days of that back to back are flying to and from Phoenix for Ash’s graduation. The Dr showing mercy gave me a bunch of drugs that are to help my head from exploding at 30,000 feet. Praise God for modern medicine. Praise God I get to spend time with my son!

100%

A few weeks ago Ash ran track at State. He came in 22^nd out of 23. He sounded disappointed. When I asked if he felt he did his best he said, “I don’t know but I think I did the best for that race.”

I don’t think he realized how profound that statement was. I might not always be 100% but can still give my all on that day or project. I am very proud of him. He has come a long way. 

Working Around The House!

What a wonderful Sunday! The rain let up around 7 AM and I sat by the pool to get some sun. Yuppie! Then I read for a while! It was good to relax, Finally! 

Church was about the sins that keep us from God. Today’s sin was gambling. I have never had a problem with that. I feel grateful that my only addiction at this point is working to hard. Okay so I’m a workaholic at home and work and it is not a good thing but at least today after copying the Proverbs 31 woman all week I modeled rest, for a bit.

David and George came over around one to help put up my mom’s new ceiling fan. They are so much fun! We put the light that was there up in the garage. We only have one florescent left. Yeah us. I put putty in the holes from the old fixtures, we reinforced the shelves in my mom’s closet...whew...I felt quite productive.

The pipe where the chlorine tablets go was leaking so we put a new one in and lastly the pool light. George and I took it out and put in a new bulb. Much to my chagrin it still didn’t work. We think it’s an electrical problem so in a few weeks we are going to switch out the GFI switch and see if that helps.

I am proud to say my David hung the flag out front on the pillar at the entryway. It means a lot for me to have a flag. My daddy was a Marine and although we didn’t have a flag on the house when I was a kid I have felt the need to have one for the past 19 years. After 9/11 I was glad to see them all pop up. I thought it was about time wondering why it took such a tragic action to get our collective act together.

For lunch we had tacos and Andrew picked his first tomato to dice up for our feast. He was so proud. It tasted yummy. So all in all it was an amazingly productive day.

Please join us in prayer for all those who are suffering from the floods, for the caregivers of Alzheimer’s loved ones and those in need. We are truly blessed!

Blessings!

The Blessings Of Every Day Life!

Friday night I got off early. I had finished all of my work and no one had anything for me to do. I had more than 40 hours in by 11 AM so my boss said to go home. I told her next week I would try to goof off and be less efficient. She laughed and told me it was all right and appreciated me not wasting money.

So I went to the bank, took David lunch, went to Walgreens, grocery shopping, and did my nails. After I made stuffed peppers. Boy, were they good. David said I should have taken the opportunity to rest. To me taking care of my family first is important and something I haven’t had much time for lately.

Ah balance…a delicate thing. I have been feeling really blessed the last few weeks. However God hasn’t allowed me to take any of it for granted. Constantly I am reminded that others are not as fortunate and David's memory is worsening.

It has been raining off and on for the past 16 hours. We need it so I feel blessed. Then I think of the people who are in floodplains and loosing everything.

I almost feel guilty we are doing well. Maybe it’s a deep thread of empathy not being far away from the fire and David’s illness. Things were crazy for so long I am forgetting how to relax.

I am proud of my accomplishments thou. Yesterday I cleaned the pool filter. Yuck! Did you know you have to do that more than once every four months? It hadn’t been cleaned since the first week of January. Okay so now I know. No wonder we were getting algae and the pump had moved to a trickle. Live and learn.

So I’ve been up since 3 AM. The taco meat and tomatoes are diced for lunch after church, the pumpkin muffins are in the oven, the sourdough bread is in the bread maker and my prayers and meditation are done. So I think today after church I’ll take care of myself. Ah the luxury of it all! 

Under Pressure

I have consistently put high expectations on myself since I was knee high to a grasshopper. While growing up I remember being told to whom much is given much is expected and I continue to hold myself to a high standard.

With my new job I have had to learn a new CRM. The only person who knows the program inside out and designed the content is the new girlfriend I told you about Monday. Her Mom died early Monday morning and the funeral is today. My heart hurts so badly for her. At this point she is going to be gone a while and I’m just attempting to keep the boat afloat while she is gone.

My boss is telling me I’m doing just fine but I have a maladroit feeling about me. Just put one foot after the other, right? Keep my head up! I just want to do so well at this job. As you know it is a dream come true for me. So I pray.

David is doing all right. We have a few people who feel the need to express doom and gloom telling him not to take the promotion if offered stating he might hate it. Really?

The job duties would be similar to what he did in the service. It would take the stress off if he receives it. Every night he studies up on coding so he can hit the ground running if he gets the job. I am so proud of him. To see him chase a goal is amazing and such a change from a few months ago. The new medications are doing him well, kinda.

So all in all we have healthy normal stresses of every day life. It’s a lot better than the death sentence we were given at the beginning of the year. So I am grateful.

Please join us in prayer for those shattered from the loss of a loved one, the caregivers who need to be refreshed, people who are suffering from the numerous natural disasters plaguing our country and the troops overseas. They are the ones who need to be uplifted. The rest of the day-to-day life stuff is peanuts.

Blessings! 

Mother's Day

Well, Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mommies out there. I know for some of you it was great being adorned with love from your children, flowers, church, breakfast in bed…ah to be loved.

For others maybe you have lost a child or your mom and the day was spent with a cemetery visit. I am sorry for your loss. Maybe you’re estranged and are praying for your prodigal son or daughter. You’re all in my prayers as well.

The children gave me flowers and I the same for my mom. I found out to late that David forgot to get them for his mom and so hers will be late. That kills me. I am sad when he forgets.


God tells us to honor our mothers. That is a straight forward commandment not something to be done depending on our mood.

A new friend of mine was not at work on Friday. I found out her mom on Thursday night had an aneurysm so she drove home to GA. Her Mom was not expected to make it through the weekend being in a vegetative state. My heart hurts for my friend loosing her mom at 27, let alone on Mother’s Day weekend. Please pray for her and her family.

So it isn’t a Hallmark day for everyone. If it was for you then count your blessings for you are truly blessed! Please join us in prayer for all of the mom’s out there and the children who miss them.

Blessings!

It's Getting Better All The Time

Green is good. Yesterday was a production day. It was amazing to be in the same sound stage with the biggest green screen on the east coast. I felt alive. This job is good for me. Please pray I continue to do well.

The in-laws and out-laws are still without power but Mom and Dad had their phone restored yesterday. That eased my mind knowing I can contact them again. 


Donna and Kenny have most of the trees cut down and they will have enough firewood to last them until 2020. Please join us in prayer that they get power soon and for all of those who have lost everything and loved ones from the storm.

David is doing better with his sinus infection. The antibiotics have helped. Please pray for his health and that his memory is restored. I know it's a long shot.

The kids are doing well. We are hoping they finish the school year strong. Seth is finished volleyball for the season, Ash is going to state for track and Andrew is practicing football for the fall. We are proud of them all.

So things are going well. Praise God!

Blessings!

Doctors Prescribe Medication For A Reason!

David and I were sitting on the back porch Sunday afternoon talking about the possibility of a promotion he is up for. It would significantly increase his pay and our ability to get back on track. He stated that he would like to take the kids on a nice vacation next year. With him out two months and me just starting a new job we are resigned to the fact that this summers vacation will be reduced to weekend trips and theme parks.

I reminded him we did take a very nice vacation last summer. His response was that we didn’t we just went to visit family in Alabama. So I asked him to think. It took him about three minutes with prodding and some frustration to remember we rented a cabin outside of Gatlinburg, TN.

It was a nice vacation. We went up a gondola, zip lined, white water rafting, the boys caught crawfish in the creek and cooked them up and my favorite was Megan and I had a spa day.

He also had a hard time remembering that last weekend was Easter and we didn’t clean the pool much to my chagrin. With the heat it was a mess and needed a good cleaning, shock and an algae treatment yesterday.

I found out Friday that he hasn’t been taking all of his medications. It is a family trait. His family doesn’t necessary believe in going to the doctors and taking medications much to my dismay. He did go Friday and got an antibiotic and some codeine cough medicine for his sinus infection, finally, after a threat from me to call 911 fro his excessive vomiting and lack of breathing soundly.

Anyway he hadn’t been taking what he needed so I went and bought two medication holders. You know the ones that go from Sunday – Saturday. With his kidney anti-rejection meds he needed big ones. One is for morning, I told him to think Christ has risen in the morning so it’s purple. The other one is for the sunsets and how mad I make him throughout the day so it’s red. :) Plus I picked up refills for what he was out of.

So, now I can keep on top of it. One of the medications had an immediate effect and he stayed awake Saturday and Sunday without naps. That is huge for him. He played with the kids and stayed on top of his sugars. Now maybe we will see the turnaround we have been praying for. I hope so.

Please join us in our prayers that David gets the job God has in mind for him, the children finish the school year strong, Ash does well in track and my sister-in-love, family and all get back to normal after the horrible storms in Alabama.

Blessings!

International

Ah...the wedding...it was lovely. I was up at three to watch the activities before the main event at six. I was so excited. Two kisses! I remember when I was really little my Nana had me so hyped up about Diana becoming a real princess. So by the time I stopped watching 20/20 on Friday night and wound down I had been up for twenty hours but it had been well worth it.

When looking at the stats for the blog I noticed we have steady readers from Canada, India, Russia and Singapore, as well as those in the States! Isn’t that cool? I would love to here from you if you wouldn’t mind dropping me a line in the comments, please that would be awesome!

It seems like a real international weekend. How fun is that!